Nothing to Prove
by Linzerj
Summary: (Karai Week 2014) She is Karai, and she is Miwa, and she is perfect just the way she is.
1. tokyo

So apparently it's Karai week. *cracks knuckles* Bring it on. This is for the queen.

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters. I also do not claim to own Flyleaf or the band's song "Fire, Fire", which I listened to while writing this first piece and which helped inspire the title.

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><p><strong>Day 1: Tokyo<strong>

The city at night is one of her favorite things about New York City. It reminds her, in small ways, of Tokyo.

It can never compare, of course, but Karai finds comfort in these small similarities. It helps her to push through, to forget that this is not her homeland, that her father is...changing, that things aren't quite right.

Of course, she misses the food of Tokyo, and the way the people talk. She misses the way it was just so _Japanese_, so sophisticated in that way, as opposed to the eccentric hustle and bustle of America's City That Never Sleeps.

She misses the closeness to her mother.

But she never says a word. She can't, because Oroku Saki - the Shredder - he is her father, her leader, and she cannot question what he says. Besides, she, too, was excited by the idea of revenge when he announced they would be moving to the Big Apple, the place where Hamato Yoshi was hiding.

She never questioned him, not in Tokyo, not as a little girl loyal to her father.

But she's starting to question him now.


	2. chains

Second one because it _is_ day 2, and I want to be caught up!

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 2: Chains<strong>

Karai almost wishes she was chained while she was kept prisoner. At least it would have kept her from her false hopes of escape, or of rescue.

Every day he comes down, and every day he says nothing, is merely content with gazing at her through the bars of her prison cell. She never says anything either, but depending on the day her attitude toward him will change; some days she'll be glaring at him, hatred burning like fire in her eyes, while other days she keeps her back facing him, either because she simply does not want to face him that day or because she is trying to keep him from seeing her tears.

But then she did it, she broke free, and she was going to make it out and free herself and not need to be rescued by anyone - until Tigerclaw got in the way.

She wakes in chains, and struggles against them. She doesn't want them now, now that she's had that taste of freedom.

Shredder is there. And for once, he speaks, tries to win her back.

And she refuses to break.

"I am **not**_ **your**_**_ DAUGHTER!_**" she screams at him, and she can _see_ the hurt on his face behind the mask, because she knows what to look for.

He doesn't say anything else. He simply turns and leaves.

But as he leaves, she continues to yell at him. "I'm not yours! I was never yours! _Do you really think my mother would have wanted **this** for me?"_

He practically runs at her last accusation, and she's glad. Good riddance.

"**I AM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!_"_**

But no matter how loud she screams it, she's still bound by the chains of her childhood to him, and they are chains she will never be able to truly break.


	3. insanity

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 3: Insanity<strong>

The hallowed laugh that comes from her throat sounds nothing like her. It's raspier, alien... mutated.

That's what she is, isn't she? She isn't Karai, isn't Miwa, she's just a freak, a monster-

But so is her father, and her brothers, and certainly they aren't freaks, so therefore she isn't a freak, right?

Right?

She shakes her head, a serpentine hiss escaping her lips. Or her...jaws? Her mouth. She doesn't have lips, not anymore.

She wants to grip her head and make the spinning of the world stop, make all the white noise stop, get all the foreign tastes and smells and thoughts out of her brain, but her hands are nothing more than more snakes, snakes connected to her new reptilian instincts, and they hiss and spit on their own as her mood fluctuates and her thoughts spin in a tumultuous dance.

In the back of her mind, where human thoughts still try to push past the pain and confusion and snake-instincts, a voice questions whether her father and brothers felt this way when they were mutated.

She wonders if they thought they were going to go insane, too.

(But the thoughts never surface; she's aware of them, in a way, but also not really, because she's still in pain and it's pushing her to her limits, _past_ her limits, and into the darkness of the unknowns.)


	4. honor

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 4: Honor<strong>

She held a sword to the blind man's throat, thirsty for vengeance. But as she looks at the dark glasses, and glimpses the sightless eyes behind them, staring into nothing, she loosens her grip, and murmurs (more to herself than anyone else): "There's no honor in this."

Because what they are doing has no honor.

Honor is what she grew up with, and honor is what she wants - _tries_ - to uphold, even as a kunoichi.

So Karai can't watch as Tigerclaw looms over the man, and instead goes outside, watching to make sure no one stumbles into the shop.

And when she talks to April, to get close to the Turtles - she's not lying. She does doubt Shredder's honor, doubts his methods, doubts his vendetta.

But at the same time, she understands. She wants vengeance for what happened to her mother - but she's no longer sure who she needs to inflict her vengeance upon.

And then her sense of honor, sense of self, sense of _everything_ is turned upside down.

She didn't want to believe it. She couldn't. Not until the concrete proof was in front of her face.

_"You are who you chose to be. Not what others make you."_

She will chose honor, and family, and _love_ every single time.

So Tigerclaw asks her if she wants the 'honor' of finishing Leonardo.

"I have no honor. But that's about to change!"

It doesn't matter what happens to her, not anymore. She has learned what honor means, who her family is, and as the Shredder - her so-called father - breaks the last hopes she had of it all being some elaborate hoax, she knows, deep down, that she will probably never get out of this alive. But it doesn't matter.

She is Karai, and she will not be defined by the Foot Clan's tainted honor any longer.


	5. photographs

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 5: Photographs<strong>

It's the only photo of her mother Shredder can offer. She often wondered why the man at her side was torn off - wasn't it Shredder, before the burns? Or was it an older picture of her mother's, from a time before she met Karai's father, and he tore the man off so that only Tang Shen would smile up at her?

She learns that it's the latter, in a way. It was her mother's copy of a photo of her and her _true_ husband, Hamato Yoshi.

(Karai's true father. She still has trouble wrapping it around her head, some nights.)

It's the one thing she has always carried with her, always in her pocket or tucked away in a pouch in her armor. Sometimes, if it will be a bad night, she will leave the picture at home so as not to ruin it, but otherwise it is always with her.

For luck. For safety. For comfort.

It was the only thing she had in that cell that was worth anything. It is what she shows Mikey when he apologizes that they don't have anything of hers, as a way of showing him that she has _something_ from home, and that they share something with her.

It is what she takes with her when she goes to confront Shredder that night, hoping her mother's spirit will bring her luck - for surely she, too, desires vengeance on the man who stole away her child.

It is the only thing she has left of normalcy after she falls into the vat of mutagen. (Well, that, and a photo of Splinter and the guys Mikey gave her. In case you ever want to go out on your own, he told her, so that your true family is always close by.)


	6. holidays

Please note this one is slightly AU/future-ish...

But yeah here have some fluffy stuff I didn't know what else to do.

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 6: Holidays<strong>

The holiday season has come around, and it's even colder in the sewers than she thought.

Granted, Donnie keeps the lair itself pretty warm, but it comes at the cost of keeping all the doors closed and barely seeing April and Casey, since they only dare to venture down once or twice a week.

Christmas Day is the exception.

The presents are stacked neatly underneath the tree, and Karai can easily recognize the ones from her. Mikey is bouncing around it, wanting to jump right in, but they're waiting on Casey and April still - April's dad was given an invitation, but he declined, saying he's cold enough in his apartment.

The second the door is opened for the other two humans, Mikey is squealing in joy and rushing forward, barely giving them time to add their own presents to the pile.

She watched, a smile dancing across her face, as Mikey admires the old record she got him, as Donnie thanks her for the package of Dunkin Donuts K-cup packs for the Keurig he got for his birthday, as April gasps at the turtle earrings. Casey and Raph are satisfied with wrestling games she got them, Leo is thankful for the rare and impossible-to-get Space Heroes collectible (and it is totally worth the pain she had to go through to get it), and Splinter hugs her fondly after unwrapping the tea bags and new china.

And she's unwrapping things too: a turtle necklace from April (there's got to be some irony there), red nail polish from Casey ("I dunno, it'll match your lipstick or something"), a near-mint Black Widow comic from Mikey (how he finds these comics is anyone's guess), a new iPhone from Donnie ("I have my ways"), an Alex and Ani bracelet from Raph (the lotus peace petals, and he gives her a look that says don't ask, I couldn't think of anything else), and _The Art of War _by Sun Tzu from Leo.

And then the collage photo frame from Splinter, with pictures of her mother (and him, when he was human) and the words "beloved daughter" carved into the wood.

As she hugs him tightly, she can't help but think how much better the holidays are now.


	7. trust

Last one! Thanks for a great Karai week guys.

Disclaimer: I am not Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, or anyone over at Nickelodeon studios. Therefore, I do not claim to own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any related characters.

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><p><strong>Day 7: Trust<strong>

Karai never spills her feelings to anyone. In the Foot, it's just frowned upon. So she learns to keep everything to herself, and never trust anyone with anything.

Then her world shatters, and the one person she thought she _could _trust - because he was her father, he had _raised_ her, and he had no reason to lie to her - well, it turned out he had lied to her his whole life. He was the worst of them all._  
><em>

But she'd been brought up on mistrust and deception, and despite Leo _trying_, trying to _trust_ her and offer her a _home_ - she couldn't believe it.

Not yet.

She wants to trust them. She does, she really does, it's just that-

She doesn't know how.

Oroku Karai has been raised to deceive others, to lie, to never trust anyone except herself. But this family - the people opening up to her, the people who want to welcome her back (as Hamato Miwa, perhaps, but they still accept that she is not what she could have been) - they trust her, and they want her to trust them.

She can try, but she doesn't know if she can.

And so she leaves them behind to face the source of her pain on her own, because she might not be able to _trust_ them, not yet, but she does _care_.

For now, it'll have to be enough.


End file.
